Friday, September 25, 2009

Sketch

The Anaconda. Cold blooded. Ferocious, violent, heartless, deadly. Slowly lurking around through the boscage, forseeing its next victim. It seemed to take many forms, a tree, a rock, leaves, and many more objects. Its mask was shady, devious, fearful. Moving its glaring yellow eyes back and forth, striking fear in you with even the slightest glance. Its tongue, viscous, sharp, and long. Its skin, scaly, various shades of colors, camouflaging its every move. Respected among its fellow, creatures. Too hellish to be accepted amongst animals. A descendant of the prehistoric era. Colossal, verbose, inhuman.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Typical

"I'm just your typical, average guy. You know? Just the guy who wakes up late every morning, stretching while scratching my a**." He turned to his left, noticing a latina woman, she was holding in her laugh. "Why yes," he paused, acknowledging her. "As a matter of fact, I can multitask!" The whole crowd burst out laughing hysterically. Trying to hold in his own laughter, he chuckled, "well, it is true! There you go, ladies! Men can multitask!" The crowd couldn't stop laughing. They were like the pack of hyenas from the Lion King. As in, they were laughing uncontrollably. He took a long deep breath, the crowd slowly started to calm down."So you know what I learned today? I went to a check up with my doctor, and he told me that laughing helps you live longer. D**n... Only God knows how much longer we'll live after that." The crowd went berserk. People here and there were falling out of their chairs. One of the security personnel tripped over himself, and even the cameraman, who has somehow always been able to keep a straight face, fumbled, and almost dropped the camera. Noticing the cameraman's clumsiness, he turned towards him. The crowd went silent. Even the camerman did. He kept on just staring into the camera, then finally whispered, "what have you been drinking this whole time?!" CRASH!!! The cameraman just let go of the camera, falling to the floor, rolling, laughing, as if he were a giddy child. "Thank you Houston! Goodnight!" He approached the cameraman, somewhat dazed and confused, "sorry about the camera." He pulled out his wallet, withdrew a couple of a hundred dollars, and placed it on the remnants of what the camera was. And with that, he was off. Just another typical day for the life of Roger Smith.